Let the Truth Sting

Horrible, horrible day.

Fasting tomorrow.

I am disgusted with myself.

That's all I have to say.

A Hard Day's Night

So, I'm gonna try and write every day...whoever is out there, reading.

Today was ok, not good and not bad. Not good as in my parents forced me to eat pasta and CHEESE sauce, cry! I had to poison my clean, fresh, pink insides with that... On the plus side, there are two things.

1. Apart from the dirty cheesey pasta, I only had half a bowl of cereal (50), a yoghurt (70) and a cracker (30) with half a slice of ham (10). So that's pretty good. And to be fair, the helping of pasta was pretty small! I just told my parents I was exhausted and would eat after a nap... and of course, I didn't!

2. I had a conversation with my best friend about Ana and she expressed her concern so much. It was great. That's quite clearly an aspect of all of this that I just love - the concern of other people. She said that she would be really angry if I started Ana again, because as far as she knows, I've stopped. But now that we're off school for study leave and then summer, she will never know.

Today, I decided on my aims. If I can't be thin for summer due to exam stress etc, I WILL be thin for September. Going back to school, seeing everyone again and knowing that they're all gobsmacked at the amount of weight I've lost.. I just can't think of anything better! Seriously!
So the plan is to restrict as much as possible and of course, fast when I can for as long as possible. It's flawless, and of course avoid binging and exercise at every opportunity that arises. If I manage to stick to my plan, there's no doubt that I will be thin by September 2010 or before it.

Something that's going to help me with it by providing thinspiration is Grey's Anatomy. Wow. All of the characters are so beautifully thin, so by watching them every day, I will be thinspired to work work work to my goal. I've also decided to name all of my blog posts after Grey's Anatomy episodes. So for any viewers, it might mean something to you. I've just gone back and renamed my 2 previous posts!

I'm going to stop rambling now, I need rest. Today was a hard day as that first real day of restriction in my new start. This day will end in 34 minutes and tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day.
Goodnight, whoever you are, reading my blog.
And if you're Ana/Mia, stay strong.
x

Shake Your Groove Thing

This blog was inspired by a song.

-

"Unarmed" by Mariah McManus

I have one thing I'd like to say to you, put down your guns and listen to me,
I am unarmed and I have no fear
I will not budge, or just steer clear of you

Just say the words and I'll fade away now, give me a match and I'll burn it all down
Pick up your feet and take me home now, cos it's dark inside and I'm all alone

Your heart is filled with superficiality
I don't quite know what has come over me

Just say the words and I'll fade away now, give me a match and I'll burn it all down
Pick up your feet and take me home now, cos it's dark inside and I'm all alone

And this is the part where the curtain falls
And the daydream ends it all
Where the yellow brick road is much too far to go alone

So just say the words and I'll fade away now, give me a match and I'll burn it all down
Pick up your feet and take me home now, cos it's dark inside and I'm all alone

Just say the words and I'll fade away now, give me a match and I'll burn it all down
Pick up your feet and take me home now, cos it's dark inside and I'm all alone

<3

Time Has Come Today

I can only lie to myself for so long. I am tired, I am scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later, I have to put aside my denial and face the world, my world head on.
"Denial", it's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean.. So how do you keep from drowning in it?

Today, I have chosen to make a new start.

Forget the past, and only move forward.

Today, I have decided that I will be thin.